valencia Writes

By Valencia Jermaine

WARNINGS:

Content – explicit sexual descriptions

Trigger Warning – Rape/Sexual Assault

Like many people over the past week, I binge-watched the Netflix show, “Bridgerton,” which is based on the Julia Quinn novel “The Duke and I.” The eight episode historical drama follows Daphne Bridgerton, a beautiful debutante who is entering her first season of “coming out” in London society during the Regency historical period (1811 – 1820). The story primarily centers on her fake courtship with the Duke of Hastings, Simon Bassett, as they both agree to trick high society into thinking they are madly in love so they can achieve their independent goals.

Despite the fact that Daphne wants to marry and Simon has vowed never to do such a thing, they end up falling in love and embarking on what has got to be one of the most complicated first months of marriage in history. Passion, lies, miscommunication, manipulation, arguments, and romance abound as the two eventually realize that they do love one another.

    The television show has sparked debate about a number of topics, including race and toxic relationships, however today’s blog is going to focus on one particular and very important issue: Rape and Reproductive Consent.

    Over the past week, there have been several articles written about a particular scene in the show that depicts Daphne forcing herself on Simon; a scene that also takes place in the book and is apparently depicted more intensely in said book. Please note: I haven’t read the book just yet. 

    As a result of reading these articles, I viewed the show again; from the first to last episode. I also watched that scene over and over again. I watched it in context and out of context. I can honestly say that I am ashamed to admit that it took me several watches and hours of thinking about it before I had to admit that this specific scene is definitely rape and I agree that there should have been a content warning before the episode starts. 

    As someone who is firmly entrenched in Generation X, I grew up watching television and movies from a time in which filmmakers treated antagonistic, so-called “seduction” as if it were something that should be viewed as romantic. If a girl said “No” while a guy was trying to initiate sex, it was often played off as just her trying to play “Hard to Get.” Scenes were written where the woman was smiling while saying “No,” pulling away from a guy’s hold, being spun around, sometimes even swatting at a guy, etc. For some reason, we were indoctrinated into thinking that such resistance was supposed to be viewed as sexy. We were told that it meant that the woman wanted the guy to work harder; not that she actually meant for him to stop. 

    NEWSFLASH: It means STOP!!! It always means stop. 

    The phrase “No means no” was finally built into the lexicon and most people began to take it seriously. I cringe at some of the things I thought were sexy back then, and when you watch some of the movies from the early to mid-20th century, especially westerns, your blood is going to boil. If you thought 80s movies were outdated in their thinking of issues surrounding sexual interactions, older movies were even worse. 

    I’m going to try to deal with several issues here with regards to the rape scene in Bridgerton. 

The scene takes place after Daphne suspects that the reason Simon “can’t” have children isn’t actually due to a medical condition. She goes to her maid and confidant, Rose, to find out exactly how babies are created (because her mother didn’t provide specific details and, well, Google and Bing didn’t exist back then.) Once she learns the actual mechanics of male ejaculation/semen/orgasm, etc, she later proceeds to initiate sex with Simon. 

The show depicts the act as consensual in the beginning. As usual, they begin with passionate kissing, etc. Both of them are active participants. Simon is usually on top, however in this scene, Daphne rolls them both over and she’s on top. For a while, he’s smiling and appears to be enjoying it, but when the camera pans to Daphne, one can see that she’s got a look of determination on her face: not an expression of being lost in pleasure. 

When he nears orgasm, you can see his expression change. He says “Wait…Wait,” to get her to stop, but she keeps going. He says her name to get her attention. She keeps going until she forces him to complete orgasm and ejaculate inside her: something he has never done before. The look on her face when she’s done is clear: she knew what she was doing. She took away his consent. 

That’s rape. 

Either person involved is allowed to stop the sexual act at any time. Refusing to stop is rape. The emotional implications are the same. When she gets up to get dressed, he calls her name and even asks her what she’s done. 

Let’s take a look at the scene in context and out of context. 

1. In Context – When you know and watch the story in context, some might state that Daphne had every right to do this to “get back at him” for misleading her. Simon did not clarify that she would be giving up her dream of having children because he didn’t want them versus her belief that he was not physically capable of giving them to her. While he shouldn’t have taken it for granted that she knew the mechanics of sex and reproduction, and while he still should have explained everything to her, it does not justify her taking away his consent to finish the sexual act. It also goes deeper into her taking away his reproductive choice as well. If the gender roles were reversed, we wouldn’t want the same thing to happen to a woman. His choices are as important as hers. If she wanted to “get back” at him, she could have done a number of actions that would not have involved emotional and physical harm to her partner.
2. Out of Context – When you watch just that one scene, it is still disturbing that he obviously wants to stop having sex. He tells her to wait, says her name to get her attention, and it seems as though he places his hands on her hips to move her off of him. There are those that argue he was strong enough to roll her off of him or pull her away, but he could have also been worried about hurting her since she’s much smaller than he is. The result is the same, she committed sexual assault against someone. She forced him to complete a sex act when he didn’t want it and after he attempted to stop it.
3. Intent – For me, it was obvious that Daphne was planning on forcing herself on Simon. I don’t know if she was planning on getting him to impregnate her that night, or if she was trying to see if he would try to stop sex before ejaculating. Her intentions, however, are clear when she gets on top and doesn’t stop after he asks her to stop. She took away his consent to stop sex and to prevent pregnancy; plain and simple.

    Simon’s violation is made all the more egregious when you consider that throughout their relationship, he has been nothing but a gentleman. He asks her what she wants in bed. He tells her what’s going to happen during their first sexual encounter. There is also one sequence in which he directly asks her “Do you want me to stop?” He waits for her answer and only keeps going after she confirms that she wants to have sex with him. To have Daphne completely disregard his choice, especially when he’s treated her in such high regard, makes it all the more hateful that she would do this to him.

    Other writers have also pointed out that because Simon is played by a black man and Daphne by a white woman, it adds another layer to this scene. A white woman is taking power away from a black man and then, later, blaming him for it. It also brings to mind the painful history of white women frequently using black men for sexual purposes and then accusing them of rape afterwards. Historically, black men were lynched for much less.

    There is also only a brief discussion of what Daphne did to Simon and the impact on their lives. They barely gloss over it and, in the end, the viewer is basically meant to infer that Simon asked for it. 

He didn’t. No one asks for it. 

We Need to Change

As a society, we need to take claims of rape and sexual assault seriously – regardless of the gender identity of the victim. When we don’t take it seriously, we further traumatize those who have already been assaulted. We prevent people from coming forward and seeking justice. We make it difficult to seek resources that can help with dealing with what happened. We also endanger others when perpetrators aren’t prosecuted.

    We need to create a space where all people can come forward to get help and justice. 

    We also need to continue to expand the narrative with regards to consent. While Simon didn’t specifically use the word “No,” him saying “Wait” more than once meant for her to wait…not keep going. All the non-verbal cues he gave also meant he was revoking consent. 

Anyone can revoke consent at any time. 

    For more information, help, and resources, you can visit the website for the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) at https://www.rainn.org/ or call 800-656-HOPE (4673).

I agree with many of my fellow writers in that there should be a content warning at the beginning of the episode as well as a brief note at the end in reference to sexual assault and resources for victims who may need assistance.

Until Netflix adds this warning, please note that this scene happens in Episode 6 of the series. It happens in the last 10 minutes of the episode.